All We Are
by sonicstardust
Summary: Sequel to Vindicated. Sawyer struggles with something he needs to tell Kate about his past, wondering how it will affect their future. Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**All We Are**

_"I tried to paint you a picture, the colors were all wrong,_

_Black and white didn't fit you and all along,_

_You were shaded with patience, your strokes of everything,_

_That I need just to make it and I can see that._

_Lord knows I've failed you, time and again,_

_But you and me are all right._

_We won't say our goodbyes,_

_You know it's better that way,_

_We won't break, we won't die,_

_It's just a moment of change,_

_All we are, all we are,_

_Is everything that's right,_

_All we need, all we need,_

_A lover's alibi."_

_-All We Are, One Republic_

* * *

The tiny girl scampers across the lawn barefoot, chasing a large soap bubble that she's just blown. It climbs higher and higher until it's out of her reach, then it pops magnificently, showering her with droplets of liquid soap. She giggles, picks up her plastic wand and goes back to the large pan of bubble mixture.

"Hey there."

The golden light of the setting sun catches her round blue eyes, making them sparkle as she turns to him. Her bottom lip sticks out slightly, giving her the look of a permanent pout. For a moment he thinks he sees a flicker of recognition in her eyes, but maybe not...

He swallows, then asks uncertainly, "Your momma home?"

The little girl nods solemnly, twirling the ends of her straight blonde hair between her fingers. "Inside." She has a slight drawl, he notes.

He nods and smiles at her, then goes up to the door. As he goes for the doorbell, a figure appears behind the screen door.

"Sawyer?" the door swings open and a tired looking woman with wavy brown hair gapes at him.

He hadn't quite thought out what he was going to say to his ex-girlfriend, whom he'd conned and then abandoned with their child. He still has no idea, looking into her eyes and watching them fill with tears.

"Hey Cass." he breathes.

For a moment she looks angry, then she shakes her head and wipes her eyes. "Why are you here?"

He ignores the question and turns to watch the little girl. She's still playing with bubbles at the bottom of the porch steps.

"She ever ask about me?" his voice is hoarse and quiet.

Cassidy sniffs, leaning against the doorframe, but this time she doesn't answer him. Instead she pushes past him and calls to her daughter. "Clementine, time to come in and wash up, baby."

The four-year-old hesitates, but puts down her wand and wipes her hands on her cotton sun dress before ascending the wooden steps. She passes the tall stranger, looking up at him curiously, then goes into the house.

Cassidy sits down on the steps and lights up a cigarette, while James stands beside her in silence. She exhales a stream a bluish smoke, then glances up at him. "When I heard how you survived the crash I thought you might come and see her...but you didn't" she observes, taking another drag. "Why now?"

James sighs and seats himself beside her. "Took me a while to figure out my priorities." he replies vaguely.

She gives him a skeptical look, but doesn't push him to elaborate. "Well it took ya long enough." her words are followed by a half-smile that he pretends not to notice.

"I just wanna do right by her, okay Cass? This ain't about you and me, just about Clementine."

She nods slowly, considering it. She turns to him. "Okay."

* * *

Kate lays the baby in her crib and goes downstairs to wait up for James. She has trouble sleeping when he's not there, so she's grateful that he'll be coming home from his trip tonight. She has to admit that it seemed a little strange when he told her his job was sending him to New Mexico, but she trusts him.

She curls up on the couch with a mug of tea and tries to relax. On the small end table beside her sits her favorite picture. It's a photo of Sawyer and little Mary, sleeping side-by-side on the floor. He originally objected to having such a photo of himself displayed, but Kate insisted vehemently until he finally stopped arguing.

There's a crunch of gravel under tires from the driveway and she is already on her way to the front hallway. She can't wait another minute to see him. As soon as he comes in the door she can tell that something's wrong. He looks worried, then startled when he sees her standing there.

"Hey," he says awkwardly, "thought you'd be asleep."

She smiles, goes over to him and kisses him on the cheek. "I wanted to wait up for you." she pauses, still eyeing him with concern. "Are you okay?"

James looks at her for a moment. He wants to tell her...he needs to...but he doesn't know if either of them are ready for that yet. He hesitates. "I'm just tired Freckles. Flight back was bumpy."

Kate seems to accept this and rubs his shoulder, looking understanding. "Come on, let's go to bed then." she suggests.

He nods. "You go ahead. I'll be up in a little."

Once she's out of sight he pulls out a Polaroid. It's a little crumpled from being in his pocket for the whole airplane flight, but he doesn't care. He wants to put it in the frame next to Mary Sunshine, but he can't. Not yet. Not until he tells Kate about her, Clementine. He resolves to do it tomorrow. He can't lie to her any longer.

He glances again at the recently snapped photo. Cassidy had taken the picture earlier that day of when Clem had brought Sawyer a flower. It was a shame that as soon as she'd warmed up to him he'd had to leave, but he promised her he'd see her again. Clementine had smiled bashfully, showing off a set of dimples to rival his own. Suddenly he finds himself missing the little girl whom he's only just met yesterday.

James goes quietly upstairs and stops at baby Mary's room. She's sleeping soundly, her little thumb in her mouth. He brushes his fingers lightly over her light colored curls. He wishes he had been there for Clementine like he is for Mary. As he goes to his own room and finds Kate asleep as well, he finds himself hoping that Kate can accept his other daughter, because now that he knows her, he doesn't want to be away from her.

* * *

_A/N: Soo, yay!! I'm back! I decided to make this a sequel to "Vindicated", because it's basically a different storyline and I didn't want to drag that one out too much. Let me know what you think please, especially if you read the previous story...but if you didn't, this probably won't make too much sense, so go read the other one pleease? :) Okay, annnyways, love ya guys!!  
_


	2. Chapter 2

The lights go by in a constant stream and her eyelids droop a little lower. It seems like the lights go on forever. They've been driving for a long time now, ever since her mother came into her room and woke her, pulling her from her safe little bed and her safe little dreams.

"We need to go see your daddy." she'd said, and being too tired to care about anything, Clem hadn't argued.

Now she pipes up for the first time in hours. "Momma, where's my daddy at?" she inquires softly, twirling the button eyes on her favorite stuffed bunny.

Her mom, Cassidy, stifles a yawn. "He's probably back in California now, but I gotta talk to him."

Accepting this as a valid answer, Clementine stops listening and begins to nod off.

Cassidy, however, continues talking, not for her daughter's sake, but possibly for her own. "If he means what he said, then I think we should stay nearby so you can go see him, at least for a little while until we get the legal papers sorted out."

I mean, he barely stayed to talk about that stuff, and I can't get through to his phone, so sometimes you just have to make things work yourself. You gotta make sure people keep their promises." Cass glances back at little Clementine, who's sleeping soundly now.

When her eyes focus back on the road the first thing she sees is another pair of headlights. Everything seems to move in slow motion. She doesn't hear the sound of her own scream or the crunch of metal on metal, on rubber, on glass. It's all a blur of lights. It seems like they go on forever.

* * *

Early morning, just before sunrise. Kate wakes when she feels his weight shift on the other side of the bed. She rolls over and sees that he's sitting up, and she wonders why for only a moment before Mary's howls sound once again from the next room.

Kate sits up abruptly. "I'll get her," she assures him, "go back to sleep." She gives him a light rub on his bare back with her hand before getting up, then walks across the richly colored wood floor and pulls open the door.

Something still strikes her as strange about James' attitude upon his arrival home last night. She turns to say something to him about it, but he's lying down again with his back towards her. Kate bites her tongue and decides to tend to Mary's needs for the moment, and speak with Sawyer later.

In the still dim nursery, the teary six-month-old greets her mother with a mournful "Ma!" and outstretched arms. Mary is sitting up in her crib with a snotty nose and very unruly hair, looking utterly miserable. Kate's heart melts at the sight of her sad baby and she scoops her up instantly.

"Hey Sunshine." She coos, hugging her. She kisses the baby's round cheeks in attempt to cheer her up, but Mary just buries her head in Kate's shoulder. "Ba," she orders.

Kate rolls her eyes and smiles. The kid has a point. "Breakfast time, huh?"

Since Mary is obviously keen on a bottle and Kate decides that she's in dire need of some coffee, the two go down to the kitchen. Out of habit, Kate turns on the small tv that sits on the counter and pulls open the blinds to let in the small amount of sunshine that there is at six o'clock. She feeds the baby a bottle and some rice cereal that looks more like white paste than anything, then turns on the coffee pot.

As soon as the aroma starts wafting through the house Kate can hear movement upstairs. It always gets him in the morning. She smiles knowingly as he comes up behind her, as she stands at the counter, and wraps his arms around her. "G'morning."

Kate turns her head and caresses his stubbly cheek with her own distinctly smoother one. "Morning." she replies, pouring them each a mug of the steaming liquid.

He releases her and ruffles Mary's already messy curls as she sits in her high chair. She babbles at him and hits him with a plastic baby spoon with a proclamation of "Ma."

He glances back at Kate. "Perfect, now I'm 'Ma' too." he grabs a cereal bowl and sits at the table.

She grins at him over her mug. "She'll get the hang of it." she reassures him, handing him his own coffee. "Ooh, turn up the TV. I want to catch the weather report in case I take the baby to the park later." she adds, and he obliges.

A grim looking male reporter stands on the scene of what appears to be an accident out in the countryside. "The crash was head on, and from the look of it, one of the drivers drifted over the double line and into the oncoming traffic. However, it is not clear _which_ driver, because of how far both vehicles drifted after colliding. Reporting live, this is Steven Coleson. Back to you in the newsroom, Barry."

Barry clears his throat. "Thank you Steven. Now, the yet unidentified driver of one car was killed on impact, but the other driver, ID'ed as Cassidy Philips has been hospitalized, and her young daughter – who was also in the crash, but sustained no life threatening injuries – has been placed with social services until a relative can be found to care for her until her mother's recuperation."

There's silence in the kitchen. Kate finally turns to James with wide eyes. "I know her. The woman in the crash."

He swallows. His mouth is dry and his heart is beating in his throat. His eyes stare blankly at the television screen. The reporters have moved on, but he can't help replaying in his head the vivid image of the twisted car.

"You and me both then, Freckles." he says hoarsely.

She shakes her head. "What do you mean?"

"I knew her," he reiterates, "cuz I conned her."

Kate closes her eyes for a moment, fighting off her anger at him, remembering things that Cassidy had told her once, about a man who had conned her, how she didn't want to make him pay, and how she was–

"The little girl in the crash was...when I last saw Cassidy she told me she was pregnant..." Her eyes find his face and search it for answers.

He looks away, but nods slightly, looking pained. "I went to see 'em while I was away. I–"

"You said it was business."

"It was, I just–"

Kate gets up from her seat, tears of anger in her eyes. "Were you ever planning on telling me that you had a child with a woman you lied to and conned? For a matter of fact, how do I know I'm not gonna end up like her?" She pauses and lets her words sink in. "How do I know that, Sawyer?"

He follows suit and stands, though he looks like he's just been hit. The two stand staring for a moment, as if both are looking down a path and wondering which way to go.

Kate breaks the eye contact and sees the baby watching them quietly. The tears spill over. She doesn't want Mary to see them fight. She doesn't want her child to know anything close to the pain that she knew growing up, even at such a young age, not fully comprehending what she is a witness to.

James hangs his head. "I made a mistake back then. I can't change it, but I went to see her to try and make things right, Freckles. I was gonna tell you. Today." There's nothing angry behind his words, only hurt and remorse, and a plea to her that his intentions are sincere.

She takes a deep breath and chokes back her tears. She wants so much to know that he's changed, and so she finally wills herself to nod and reply. "Okay. Okay, if you say you wanna make it right, I'll believe you."

He nods as well. It's what he wants, for her to believe in him. The possibility that she might not is the thing that hurts the most. James notices that the baby is squalling, so he goes over and pulls her small, complaining form out of her high chair. He hugs her close to him, seeking some comfort, even though she squirms and drools on his bare shoulder.

Kate sits and rubs a hand over her forehead, feeling vaguely sick over their argument. "What do we do now?" she asks weakly.

James glances back at the TV, as if it will have more answers. He gets none, so he goes with his gut feeling."We gotta do what's right by Clementine."

* * *

_A/N: So yeah, I was gonna make this chapter longer, but that seemed like a good cutoff and whatnot (yay for compound words!). More should be coming soon! And HEY what's up with people thinking this is a oneshot!? No dudes, I'm here, I'm writing, and I'm psyched!! P.S. I apologize to any Cassidy fans! I like her too, so don't worry about her too much ;) If you ask me, I felt the writing in this chapter was slightly awk. So let me know what you think and maybe I'll edit it a little so it's smoother. Eh, I dunno. Peace out guys._


End file.
